introvert party

Ain’t no party like an introvert party cause an introvert party is relaxing and filled with great conversation.

I hung out last night with a friend. We “discovered” this little out of the way wine joint in Atlanta. Had an amazing time talking and drinking wine. Since we’re both pretty introverted, there was also a good deal off time spent on our individual phones. That’s alright it worked for us.

This outing is the polar opposite of the outing I had last weekend. A group of my more extroverted friends wanted to take me out for my birthday. They talked and joked. We ate. They complained about me not putting my phone down. I sulked.

Don’t get me wrong I love my friends and like being around them. The issue I have is in the fact that, even though they know me well some of them don’t truly understand me. With the first group, when asked what I wanted to do, I suggested the museum and dinner. They declared that boring and nerdy and told me I needed to get out and have fun. Then we ended up in a sports bar. A loud rowdy sports bar. Where random people tried to talk to me about sports. I don’t talk to people, much less to strangers in a bar. Now my friends understood I like food and drinks and them. What they didn’t understand is that I also need a peaceful atmosphere where I can retreat into my head when I need to.

Last night was totally different in a number of ways. First was the fact that I didn’t need to explain myself to this friend. We’re alike enough that she fundamentally understands my need for a calming environment. Secondly she understood that me picking up the phone wasn’t dismissive of her but was about me taking a few moments inside my own head to gather myself. Finally, it was a given that if I suggest a place then it’s my idea of fun and shouldn’t summarily dismissed as boring.

True Confession Time

Often we judge others based on our own wants and needs. It’s rare that we are able to accept what they like if it’s different from what we like. Friendship should eliminate this disparity. It should allow us to look at the person and say “hey its not my cup of tea but it totally fits you and that’s cool.” At the end of last weekend I was drained. Today I’m upbeat and energized. What a difference understanding makes.